Taking stock of life lately -- just breathe

Life, lately, has felt rough.

I know, logically, that I am not alone; however, I think when life feels hard, most of us revert to our emotional state instead of looking at our circumstances objectively. It feels hard and we often feel alone when things seem difficult or less than ideal.

I started this blog in November, 2023 -- seven months ago -- because I'd been feeling out of sorts for several months and wanted to turn things around. I was feeling overwhelmed by pretty much everything in life from my finances to my relationships with others to housekeeping and beyond. I just felt like I couldn't get a grip on any one area and thus was failing in every area. 

Unfortunately, I'm still feeling that way. And, it's exhausting.

Two months ago, I submitted an interest form for a new therapist, and we had our first meeting last week. Unfortunately, the clinic schedules appointments every other week and my next session should fall on July 4th, but that's a national holiday in the United States and the therapy practice will be closed that day. Their schedule is quite full, so my next appointment won't be until two weeks after July 4th -- so a full month after my first appointment. That feels difficult, but I know I will be fine in the meantime. 

But, while I wait for that next appointment, I'm still feeling dysregulated. I'm bored. I'm tired. I'm uninspired.

Last night, recognizing how I was feeling, I opted to stop what I was doing every half hour and to take five deep, slow breaths with my hands over my heart. 

Did that lift my mood and turn things around? No, but it did give me a few moments to pause and mentally regroup. It helped me to pull together my scattered thoughts and to focus. 

I had been jumping from task to task, idea to idea, thought to thought, and I was getting nowhere. By stopping to center myself through these breathing exercises, I was able to pause and think, "What was I just doing? Is that something I can easily finish if I go back to it?" followed by, "That last task is done. Of the multiple things on my mind, what can I easily do next?"

This was not revelatory. It was not like things cleared up and I was recovered or could jump back into life. 

But, these moments of centering allowed me to complete several micro-cleaning, organizing, and decluttering tasks despite feeling emotionally and mentally scattered. Prior to making this shift and incorporating these breathing exercises, I'd been starting and stopping several tasks without finishing any of them -- and some were so incredibly simple!

I was able to:

• completely clean up and put away a few small messes and random items in my living room;
• load several dishes into my dishwasher;
• prepare a lunch and breakfast to take to work today;
• lay out my wardrobe for work today.

Admittedly, I did wake up feeling scattered and exhausted to a degree that I forgot the lunch and breakfast I'd made, but I did get myself dressed and out the door on time.

Sometimes, in the middle of the moment, I need to remember to just breathe. Few things are as bad as they seem and few tasks are as overwhelming as they feel. 

How are you thriving instead of surviving today?

-- Malea