Thriving or Surviving

Something interesting happened this weekend.  With only two work days left before my job is eliminated, I expected to be going into this week panicked, worried, and freaking out.  Instead, something else entirely happened. First, I started to feel calm -- calmer than I've felt in a very long time.  Second, I started to feel excited and curious about the possibilities of hours not spent at a job working for someone else.  I've spent the last two months growing increasingly anxious and depressed about my layoff, to a degree that I started to see a new therapist and have considered trying an antidepressant. Through working with my therapist and facing the elimination of my job, I've been considering what I really want out of life. Am I just pursuing certain paths because I feel like I should or because I think it's expected?  I am still looking for a new job and have had several promising interviews, but this mental shift and the possibilities raised by not having ...

I hate my current commute, but as part of a float pool, I'm stuck going to whatever work site my bosses assign me to. Last month, my bosses FORGOT to assign me and ended up sticking me at an assignment that's an hour and a half away from my home. I don't have a car, so I'm on the bus for three hours round trip Monday to Friday. It's horrible and I feel like it's slowly killing me.  I am actively looking for other jobs, but in the meantime, I'm stuck with this commute for another 9 business days -- after the 9th remaining day, my job is being eliminated. Overall, I will have been stuck with this commute for three weeks.  I know others have worse commutes -- I've had worse -- but right now, I'm struggling in several areas of life so it feels even worse than it actually is . After coming home several days in a row so exhausted that I can barely function by the time I get home, I decided to find a way to make my bus rides more tolerable and to get some t...

Life, lately, has felt rough. I know, logically, that I am not alone; however, I think when life feels hard, most of us revert to our emotional state instead of looking at our circumstances objectively. It feels hard and we often feel alone when things seem difficult or less than ideal. I started this blog in November, 2023 -- seven months ago -- because I'd been feeling out of sorts for several months and wanted to turn things around. I was feeling overwhelmed by pretty much everything in life from my finances to my relationships with others to housekeeping and beyond. I just felt like I couldn't get a grip on any one area and thus was failing in every area.  Unfortunately, I'm still feeling that way. And, it's exhausting. Two months ago, I submitted an interest form for a new therapist, and we had our first meeting last week. Unfortunately, the clinic schedules appointments every other week and my next session should fall on July 4th, but that's a national holiday...