Who are you without social media?

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My mental health has been suffering lately. I received a layoff notice at work on June 27th and my job was officially eliminated on August 27th. Throughout the two months in between, and the month and a half since then and when I am drafting this post, I've been stressed out, anxious, and depressed. I very quickly started to binge more social media content than is normal for me, but I also realized that even before these events, I was spending a lot more time on social media than is ideal. 

You can learn more

about my lay off journey

on YouTube HERE.

Early in September, I was scrolling on Instagram, mindlessly, and realized how dissatisfied I was with my time on social media, primarily Instagram and Facebook. I really don't use much else -- I dabble in YouTube and go to Pinterest for inspiration and recipes, but I am not on TikTok, Snapchat, etc. 

As a result, I decided to take the entire month of September off from Facebook and Instagram. That included both personal and professional profiles. 

For the most part, I was able to stay off of both, but then I decided to do an update post on Facebook to share how great my social media break was going. That opened a flood gate and I found myself getting sucked back into both Facebook and Instagram. So, now I've decided to scale back for the rest of the year. 

Despite being depressed and extremely worried throughout most of September due to my layoff and being unemployed, I was able to get so. much. done. as a result of taking a social media break. 

I was able to declutter a whole bunch, make a ton of new items for my Etsy shop, crush my daily Duolingo goals and greatly accelerate my Spanish and French skills, read a lot, and so much more!

So many of us have unintentionally begun to identify ourselves through the lens of social media. We have unintentionally become caricatures of ourselves, focusing on what we want others to see or how we think we should portray ourselves. And, we've begun to spend less and less time actually just being. We've begun to spend less and less time on our hobbies and interests. We've begun to spend less and less time enjoying friendship and company without documenting the moment for social media. 

Now, please don't think I'm saying that this has happened to EVERYONE. I know it's not true for some of you, but it is true for many of us. 

I did not like who I was becoming when I was spending so much of my free time on social media. I was bored -- and probably boring. I was anxious. I was depressed. I was lazy. I was unmotivated. 

You could argue that those were byproducts of my layoff, but I think those things were already there and being laid off and having so much free time just made them more obvious. 

I've started a new job recently, but I've also noticed that since I posted that little Facebook update, I've started to get sucked back into endlessly and mindlessly scrolling even with this new job. 

I haven't been engaging in things I love. I haven't been caring for myself in ways that matter to me. I haven't been using my mind in ways that are fulfilling. 

As noted above, I've decided to continue to spend minimal time on social media. I haven't removed Instagram and Facebook entirely from my phone or deactivated my accounts, but I have been thinking about ways to limit my time on them. I'm considering an app that locks you out of certain apps except for specifically designated times. 

But, I've also been simply setting my phone down in one room while I'm in another and I'm buying an old fashioned alarm clock so I can stop using my phone to wake me up in the mornings. 

I've been enjoying using an old fashioned watch -- I never have had a Garmin or Apple Watch or anything fancy like that. 

I've been enjoying writing old fashioned letters and post cards.

I've been enjoying listening to music while I cook or craft. 

I've been enjoying reading again -- I LOVE to read! Why did I let social media take that activity from me?

This has been a transitional time in my life for many reasons, and social media was only adding the bare minimum of positivity. In fact, it was sucking away more positivity than it was supporting. Despite being tethered, in a way, to my contacts and friends 24/7 via Facebook and Instagram, I've felt more disconnected than ever. 

I want to change that.

I think you should too. Write an old fashioned postcard or letter to a friend. Call someone you care about and actually talk with them over the phone. Have a Zoom party the way so many did when the world was locked down. Invite a friend to go to coffee or for a walk or to have a crafty date and leave your phones in your pocket or bag or purse. 

Recently, a friend and I went to a mutual friend's house to share a morning of chatting, snacks, and crafting and it was beautiful! 

Another two friends and I had a Zoom party where we worked on a political activity together. 

A newer friend loves to connect by talking on the phone and by taking turns having coffee at each other's apartments. We have plans to have cozy days together this fall and winter where we put on fuzzy pajamas or sweats and watch cheesy holiday movies while sharing sweet treats and tea.

And, it's fall in the Northern Hemisphere -- this is a time of year when I love to bake, make soup and chili, and host friends for dinner. 

It's my favorite time of year to sit by the window with my morning coffee and a good book. 

It's a time of year when I love to sort through my craft supplies and find new ways to use some of them. 

Thanks to social media, I feel like I've gotten farther and farther away from some of these things. Instead, it feels like many of us spend our time watching other people doing the things we want to be doing. Or, we spend our time watching and consuming rage-bait instead of nourishing our own brains.

Who am I without social media? Who are YOU without social media? 

I do believe there are ways to consume social media in a healthier manner, but right now I am not ready to focus on that. Instead, right now, I need to step further away from Instagram and Facebook -- I will still use Facebook for one particular social group I am in with a tiny group of long-term friends, but otherwise, I have cut back on so many of the accounts I was following and groups I was in. They just weren't serving me. Instead, they were taking up my time and attention when I could have been actively engaged with my life. 

Years ago, I joined Leonie Dawson's Brilliant Biz and Life Academy in order to get a better handle on both my business and my life. I have loved using her workshops and workbooks to focus in on the things that matter to me the most. At the start of my break from Instagram and Facebook this fall for my mental health, I was struggling to figure out how to market my side-hustle businesses without social media -- doesn't everyone promote and advertise all over social media??? Isn't that how it's done these days???

Thankfully, Leonie has a course in the Academy all about marketing without social media. While this course was all about marketing your business WITHOUT social media, she delves into topics that also relate to mental health, non-business life, and why social media is NOT the best way to market a business. She also differentiates between the internet generally as a source of information and social media as a mind and time suck. She also discusses how little of her business revenue actually was coming from social media versus other avenues of growth.

If you've been wanting to step away from social media, you might want to check out the course. Just be aware that Leonie is highly unconventional and often speaks from the heart which includes a lot of swearing. She also has added a section on how she has gone back to social media but in a way that is much more sustainable, much less all consuming, and so on. 

Have you taken a social media break (or maybe you have never been on social media to begin with?)? How did it feel? Have you wanted to do a social media cleanse but weren't sure how or why? I'd love to hear your experiences about getting off of social media! Drop a comment and let me know!

This blog post contains affiliate links meaning I may receive a commission based on any purchase(s) you may make through such links. This is at NO COST to you. I will never include links to any product that I don't love or find incredibly useful.